Wednesday, April 14, 2010

#49 family

Family... quite a group of people in everyone's life. they are the people who make fun of you at family holidays and make you harbor a cold and cruel hatred towards the rest of the world. Without family you would not be able to hate everyone and everything on planet earth. i know from experience that family is a lie. They say one thing and mean another. Everyone says family is supposed to love you but I have figured it out. Family is supposed to make everything about your life suck. Let's talk about brothers.

Families do many things together including holidays and vacations. they even go to each others baseball games. I know as a fact that everyone wants to go to my games and watch me destroy the opposing team. There has never been a team that can stand up to my amazing skills and walk away alive. When I make contact with the ball it never stops flying. For instance, I hit a ball once, and its still in orbit. Scientists at NASA believe it will continue to orbit the planet for another two thousand years. The MLB has named me the top prospect in the draft when I turn eighteen. I will most likely be drafted first pick and paid a hefty salary in the major leagues.

Dan Reiser, one of the greatest pitchers to ever step up on the mound, got destroyed by me. he had nothing on me. I purposely let him get an 0-2 count on me. Then I knew he would throw a curveball and I hit it so hard that it caught fire as it left our solar system. I then saluted the American flag in center field, entered my '97 malibu, and drove off into the sunset.

Ok I admit, I may have sidestepped the family in this blog and written about baseball instead but baseball is more fun than family, on any given day. I also understand that some of this may sound a bit far fetched but i assure you, it is all true. Just watch ESPN every night and watch my high lights.

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